What You Can Buy For Having Your House Stolen

The OCC announced on 4/9/13 how much $ homeowners that banks wrongfully foreclosed on will get. Here's what they can buy!

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About One Hour’s Worth of Legal Advice

Lawyer Bashing Is Fun

"Hello, yes, it’s very nice to meet you, too, I’m LAWYER."

"Ok, so, you were approved for a loan modification? Great! So legally the bank can no longer foreclose on you. Oh? You are still being foreclosed on? I’m very sorry to hear that."

"How long has this been going on? And you received $500 as a part of the @USOCC settlement with the banks?”

"Well, you can still pursue legal action. Next steps? Well, I’m afraid our one hour is up. If you’d like to continue, we’ll need to schedule another meeting. And yes, my rate is $500/hour, so if you need to set up a payment plan we can definitely help you with that…"

h/t @kiplet

Filed under OCC IFR independent foreclosure review dual-tracking megabanks

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Enough Alcohol To Drown Your Sorrows

Another Alcohol Shot

Yes, maligned homeowner, one of the megabanks screwed you. You had a loan modification request APPROVED, and yet you were STILL foreclosed on. The banks fucked up, what can we say?

You know, it was probably Wells Fargo, who had up to an 80% error rate in foreclosure files reviewed, as reported on by the WSJ last year: “Ms. Cordova, who trained contract workers on a review of Wells Fargo files in Orange, Calif., said the rate of errors on files she saw was rising when banks and regulators halted the exams. Certain batches produced error rates as high as 45% to 80% in late 2012, she added.”

But don’t worry! The @USOCC has a solution! They’re gonna make the banks pay you between $300 and $500!

THINK OF ALL THE BOOZE YOU CAN BUY WITH THAT MONEY!?

Who needs a house when you can drown your sorrows with drink?!

h/t @smck0wn 

Filed under OCC IFR independent foreclosure review dual-tracking

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Ten Pitchforks
Yeah, sure, you are only getting $500 for being foreclosed on even though the bank approved your loan mod. Hey, you know, the banks mess up sometimes! And sure, the consultant who reviewed your file & your tale of heartbreak made $10,000. 
But think about it! With that $500 you can buy TEN PITCHFORKS and go visit the offices of Promonotory Financial Group (Where The Bank Regulators Go To Get Rich™).

Ten Pitchforks

Yeah, sure, you are only getting $500 for being foreclosed on even though the bank approved your loan mod. Hey, you know, the banks mess up sometimes! And sure, the consultant who reviewed your file & your tale of heartbreak made $10,000

But think about it! With that $500 you can buy TEN PITCHFORKS and go visit the offices of Promonotory Financial Group (Where The Bank Regulators Go To Get Rich™).

Filed under promonotory consultant rip-off IFR OCC foreclosure settlement independent foreclosure review

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An iPhone 5! (Uh, w/ a 2yr contract…)
You can buy a 32GB iPhone 5 if you are a homeowners who had a loan modification APPROVED, but are STILL BEING FORECLOSED ON because the banks do not have their shit together (one dept handles loan mods, another handles foreclosures; this is called “dual-tracking”)! Congratulations! It only took the pain and suffering of a foreclosure fight that wasn’t your fault to get the $ for your new phone! Enjoy!

An iPhone 5! (Uh, w/ a 2yr contract…)

You can buy a 32GB iPhone 5 if you are a homeowners who had a loan modification APPROVED, but are STILL BEING FORECLOSED ON because the banks do not have their shit together (one dept handles loan mods, another handles foreclosures; this is called “dual-tracking”)! Congratulations! It only took the pain and suffering of a foreclosure fight that wasn’t your fault to get the $ for your new phone! Enjoy!

Filed under OCC IFR settle independent foreclosure review bank errors servicer errors